The Hollar Dores

Spawned out of an insatiable greed for cold hard cash and the absence of any decent scruples to control the means of obtaining it, the Hollar Dores (read Dollar Whores) were formed in the early stages of 2002. A covers band to end all covers bands, the sky was the limit, and corporate sponsorship, cheap gimmicks and a business mentality that would shame Gene Simmons were the means to get there. But all was not well amongst the ranks.

A wise man once said, “Sex is only fun for the amateur, you’ll find no smiling old whores,” and as if by verification, suddenly these pro musicians no longer found themselves smiling. Cracks were forming, endless debates on the kitchness of Bon Jovi proved fruitless and their previously loyal Sicilian skinsman Chiko Trustfund had shouldered his pack and hit the road. The Dollar Whores were down to their last fifty cents and the hand of change was now afoot. Despairing Bass Player Vinny Bankroll finally reverted back to his birth name and contacted guitarist Heinrik Von Deutchmark with a dog-eared songbook containing lyrics that would make Marshall Mathers question his own credentials. The Hollar Dores we know and love today had been passed into the world, red, wet and screaming.

A perennial artistic benefit receiver, Vinny (henceforth known as Ben) found himself recreating his favourite musical genres in his writing, being constantly unable to afford the purchase of such entertainment with his paltry wage. Coupling with Heinrik (henceforth he shall be known as Trav) whose background lay entirely in Swedish hair metal, the Hollar Dores unique sound was formed, horseshoe like, in the molten forge of their collective minds. Singer Johnny Paycheque (henceforth known as Steve) was reinstated on the grounds that he did what he was told and once again for the ‘Dores, the sky was the limit. After losing their second drummer Nathan in a Spinal Tap-esque case of Dysentery (henceforth known as Nathan’s passage to India) Trav’s childhood friend Josh was recruited on drums, and for the foreseeable future the line up was complete.

And what a sound that spewed forth! Retro Hair metal slash Tango epic duets between an Orc and a Human! (Warcraft) Barbershop vocal quartet piece slash murder ballads! (I met her in the Dole Queue) The first ever Britpoppish ode to self-love! (From Poland with Love) The Hollar Dores even manage to recreate the drive and emotion not witnessed since the eighties with the likes of Go West and Pat Benatar!! (Whiskey Dick) The accompanying demo will only give you so much a tiny molecular specular taste on the tongue that leaves you salivating and tearing your hair out for more, more MORE!!! The exclamation mark on this keyboard has worn to an unrecognisable smear!!!!

Erstwhile Maori Pub cover veteran Vic Kena instantly took a shine to the boys, and the ball was set rolling. Offering them regular gigs at his Music Platform for only seventy-five dollars each, it immediately seemed the Hollar Dores star was on the rise. Following career highs of fourth billing at The Alley Bar and a fill in spot at Mary St it was time to take it into high gear by writing a bio and a demo and stuff, and if you’re reading this right now, you can help make that happen. Send money now.